I had a drive. For the first time, I felt like my actions had a purpose. And I reasoned that whatever I did for myself to impress you was also to impress myself. That those were the same things. The more I liked myself, I thought, should make me more likable in your eyes. I was looking at myself through your eyes.
And now those eyes are gone. Now I know they were never looking at me. So what about those things, are they still to impress me, or were they only to impress you?
